The Earth is Indeed Flat

Satire Edition


Cole Perry, Staff Writer

The rumors are true folks, the Earth is flat. If you’ve ever played Minecraft then you know what I’m talking about. In the game of Minecraft, you can choose a flat world option, in which the world is just an endless, flat plain.  With the flat, expansive world the only possibility is that it was modeled after reality. 

After taking a small survey, the results are very obvious:

Eli Gibson, a senior here at AHS, stated “If the Earth were round, then the water would just fall off. So it’s obviously flat” And I have to say this is a very good point. When you place water onto a sphere of any sort, it simply slides and drips to the ground. But the reason that water stays on the Earth is because it is flat and it can’t drip down if there is a flat surface holding it. 

Bethany Bushman, a senior, expresses her concern about the matter when she said, “We shouldn’t trust what the Government says.” She claimed that the Government says the Earth is round, but to consider they may be feeding us lies. 

When asked the question, ‘Do you believe the world is flat?,’ Anna Bushman said , “ I’m twelve, I don’t know.” And when asked the same question, Lily Calderwood, a senior said, “It is.” And she took the words right out of my mouth. I couldn’t agree more.

Four in four people are correct in saying; yes, the Earth is flat.