SATIRE: Mr. Smith is Icy Man



Jayce Christofferson, Staff Writer

Math is a cold, cold subject. Students know this, but what they have yet to figure out is just how icy their classes have been- and who the culprit of this ice age mathematics is. 

Senior Azra Waihi comments that “Mr. Smith has been hiding his true identity sine 1974”. However, his love for tests and icy disregard for students free time (he gives out homework on the daily) is giving his identity away. Granted, Mr. Smith has his perks. He makes everyone laugh- along with Icy Man in the comics, he saves us all by giving us extra credit. Not only this, but he teaches the subject of mathematics, which only a heart of ice could understand. His love of numbers gives the rest of us chills. 

The facts are impossible to ignore. Tutor Mrs. Voorhees even spotted him drinking ice cold water in the winter, not far from snow. This kind of behavior is not only worrisome but very suspicious. And last but not least, a photo was sighted of him protecting the public during class and getting ready to fly. If you look closely, you will see a picture of his true identity (icy man) in the corner. The facts are lining up, but Patriots will have to decide for themselves, IS MR. SMITH ICY MAN?