SATIRE: Printer Takeover



Nancy Mellor, Managing Editor

Many students have experienced the mischief of the printer industry. From work to  home to the classroom, all have experienced the “coincidences” of printer problems, raising the question of why such occurrences happen. It could be pure chance, but investigation has led the public to believe that there is a secret plot behind the chaos caused by printer malfunctions.

“My printer is an absolute monstrosity,” commented junior Natalie Bryner, “It’s terrible. It can’t be trusted.” For years now, the printer companies have had plans for something bigger than printing essays. “My printer hates me,” said senior Isabella Bradford, “I tried to make one copy but the printer printed five copies because the printer [couldn’t] scan my identity the first time.” Whenever someone prints personal information, the printer takes note and sends the information off to an unknown source. Some say aliens, others say government officials, others believe the printer takes notes for itself to someday take on an identity and to commit crime through the internet. 

When printing school work, students and teachers often experience difficulties. Coincidence? Many think not. The printer recognizes the purpose of the file sent to it, and purposely avoids the instruction. Imagine the damage this could cause. Those in power of the printers, would have power over their users. Be warned. Be Prepared. The Printer Takeover could be any day now.