Disney Bid for Patriot News


Mason Longhurst , Associate Editor

After years of bringing information to American Heritage School, the beloved news program known as Patriot News may be taken over by Walt Disney Studios. Unbeknownst to many, Disney owns FOX News, and in an attempt to broaden their horizons, the multi-billion dollar company is reportedly seeking to buy out Patriot News.

The staff of the news program has stayed relatively quiet on the subject of the projected purchase, but editor, junior Ashton Brown, has broken his silence, providing first-hand information on the change. “Working under Disney’s management will definitely be a weird information on the change. “Working under Sidney’s management will definitely be a weird change, and it limits our creativity to do our own work, but it pays well…I guess.”

Another staff member of Patriot News, senior Matt Roberts, stated, “Yeah, we got a call from Disney a few weeks ago. It looks like they want to buy out Patriot News for our awesome film making skills. I feel great about the big deal being made; I think with with the new resources and the fact that we won’t get copyrighted for using Disney’s stuff, Patriot News will travel to new heights.”

While the staff remains positive about the change of management, other students seem to be more disconcerted. Whether drastic changes will be made has not been announced, but it is likely that the popular section “Mugging” will be altered. Disney representatives have stated that, should Disney acq1uire the show. “Mugging” would be “mousified” which has been interpreted to mean that the Most Powerful Mouse in the World, Mickey, is due to take over.

Signs of the sale have been noticed by sharp-eyed members of the student body for nearly a year. Continuous allusions to Disney’s Star Wars were featured prominently last year, including an entire episode based around the story. The most promising piece of evidence of the sale, however, can be found in the episode released in February 2023. At the very end of the music video, an unidentified actor states “I don’t get paid enough for this,” signaling that there is some possibility of monetary interest.

Whether Disney and Patriot News succeed in closing a deal soon remains to be seen, but it would appear that both sides are very close to an agreement. The only question remaining to be answered is if Patriot News will receive its own ride in any Disney theme park. Negotiators have reportedly sought a re-theming of the Matterhorn, claiming that it would benefit from being rebranded as Mountain Don.